From The Carillon, University of Regina student newspaper, an example of a young man enroute to becoming an old boy. He and the paper's editor obviously don't care about how street harassment impacts women. And, to dismiss it by saying girls do it, too, is simply ridiculous!
By Jordan Reid
Summer is upon us, and it brings with it the scantily clad females that I have come to love. It is at this time of the year that creeping it real is an almost daily occurrence. Now, I am not flat out admitting that I’m a creep, or that I am objectifying women in any way. Let’s be honest, girls at the beach are checking out guys just as much as the guys are checking out the girls. The guys, however, are certainly not above throwing out catcalls or whistles, whereas the girls tend to be a little more reserved in their appreciation.
Let me explain some of the finer points of “creeping it real.” Staring for a little too long, throwing out a “BABY!” when driving down the street and seeing a hottie jogging, or just being an obnoxious pervert in general all suggest that you are, in fact, “creeping it real.” The art of creeping is something that I feel my friends and I have mastered over the past year. Where once I would have been embarrassed by being caught staring at a girl, I almost enjoy it now. And c’mon girls, is it not at least somewhat flattering when you catch a guy gawking at you, mouth agape? I don’t get it that often, but when I see a girl staring at me like that I’m usually pretty stoked.
The idea of driving around and yelling “BABY!” at a complete stranger is one that has taken me some getting used to, but now I consider myself a seasoned veteran. There’s almost nothing funnier than to throw a holler out and receive a good old “eat shit” look. The disgusted headshake is a favorite of mine as well. A car full of guys, especially after a few drinks, almost guarantees some form of creeping, and believe me when I say that we take no prisoners. Young, old, fat and thin are all potential victims of creeping, within a moderate degree of reason of course. I’m certainly not going to yell out “BABY!” at some little 10-year-old girls, and I might draw the line if they were 80, but anyone else had better watch out.
Of course, when creeping it real goes wrong, it can really go wrong. On a recent trip to the movie theater, a 12 year old girl was unintentionally given the “Brain” by one of my classier friend [sic] (if you don’t know what the “Brain” is, go rent Waiting and enlighten yourself). In my friend’s defense, he was attempting to give it to another buddy when this poor little girl happened to step into the crossfire. This was not an attempt at creeping it real, but it certainly ended up that way. There are several other ways that it can end up being a disaster. A slap in the face always sucks, and the rarely used (thankfully!) kick in the testicles usually ends in tears. It is always best to gauge the situation, as much as humanly possible, before an attempt to creep it real is made. While this can be difficult sometimes, it is much better to be safe than sorry and crying on the ground while laying in the fetal position, cradling your bruised genitalia. Remember, always practice safe creeping!
Now as I stated earlier, creeping it real should not be thought of as perverted or assholish. Well, maybe it’s a little assholish. It’s just a game though, a shits-and-giggles kind of pastime that is only meant for a laugh, immature as it may be. Please don’t be offended, and if you are at least spare me a kick in the balls. Please.
First bad ads, now this. Methinks Saskatchewan's editorial men might benefit from a Women's Studies class or two! Email your concerns to the Editor-in-Chief, Steven Kiser.